MOVING

The time has come to begin our moving phase.  Well, technically the time to begin has come and gone so now we're down to the wire.  I keep putting it off because it doesn't feel real.  We have spent over two wonderful years here in Hawaii.  Laie has been our first real home; we've never lived anywhere as long as we have lived here. In our almost five years of marriage we've lived in five places and while that may not seem like much to some, it seems like a lot to us.  I'm ready to settle down; to buy (or rent!) a house, find a good school for my children, fix up the yard, get an annual pass to a museum, etc. - you know what I'm talking about.  But that seems so far away.

I took this picture of Bannock right after this story:

During nap time yesterday I was going through books to keep and give away and got a little weepy.  I couldn't bare to get rid of ANY of them (hence the multiple large "keep" piles on the left).  Each one has a special memory... even the 'How to draw Cars and Trucks' book made it into the keep pile because of the hours Bannock spent just looking at the pictures. This little library is a treasure to me that I want to keep forever.  So the tears fell as I recalled special moments with each one; Bannock reciting the words of 'Goodnight Kiss for little Fish' when he was two, explaining to everyone and their mom the functions of all the construction trucks in his 'My Big Truck Book', quietly reading 'Moon Plane' all on his own, Brecken babbling at the pictures of animals - if I gave away these books it would be like giving away the memories. 
So as I quietly cried Bannock slipped out of his room and silently put his arm around me.
I said: "I'm sad Bannock."
B: "Why are you sad mommy?"
Me: "Because we're moving and I'll miss it"
B: "It's not sad"
Me: "Why is it not sad?"
B: "Because we're moving to Caaaalifooooorniaaaaa!"
He sang the word California like game show announcer, like I had won an amazing prize.  Leave it to children to look on the bright side of things.  I have spent so much time and energy focusing on the sentimental things, the things I'll miss, all the memories and friends we've made, how life will never be like this again. But his perky little demeanor quickly showed me that it's no fun focusing on the past.  We have endured a lot here - we might have lived in paradise but we've struggled more than I thought we would.  We have so much to look forward to and while I might get a little teary during this bittersweet time of transition, I know that my outlook on what is to come will ultimately decide my happiness.  So here's to lessons learned, wonderful friends made and a beautiful bright future.